Kay-Kay

This is a sad, but happy too (!) post ...... When we traveled to the beach over a week ago ( GOSH time fly's!!!) We stopped by my grandma's (who I call Kay-Kay) house- who lives in Columbia, SC. I have to tell you I am NO good at dealing with real personal stuff- I would help anyone else out in a heartbeat, cook ya a meal when your down ( or bake should I say! :) ), really anything someone else needed I would try my best to do whatever they needed ..... Not so good at dealing with my Kay-Kay getting older or really the loss of my Pop-Pop almost 10 years ago- I regret not spending more time with her after he died because we were soo close - I remember her making me blueberry pancakes when I would visit every morning and always staying up late to scratch my back..... When my Pop-Pop died I think in my mind I didn't want to deal with it so I just ignored it and finally realized I in turn ignored my Kay-Kay- Her health has been not so good the past few years and I am not at all close to that side of the family so when mom asked if we would like to stop by on the way I said yes, but inside was scared to death- what would she look like?, would she remember me?, love me the same?...... Now I do talk to her a few times a year and check upon her but haven't seen a pic or sent her many pics of kids for a while so all this was racing through my head as we pulled up to what I thought as a child was a magical, HUGE castle looking home to a quiet, kinda rundown little house and walked inside to my Kay-Kay - she still looked beautiful- VERY teeny tiny maybe 80lbs, and her hair so white, but it still looked perfect as always :) We sat and ate BBQ she ate very little, but I think she couldn't understand what we were all doing here/there! She asked my mom if these ( children ) were all hers and after explaining everything I think she understood that the gang of children were mine!! LOL! She LOVED Cash and wanted to hold him and love on him- he would sit in her lap but then try and jump or something and since he's almost as heavy as her I was soo scared he was going to break something on her! All in all it was so wonderful to be there, see pictures of my Pop-pop, hearing her still to this day, talk about how much she loved him ( still does) and misses him ( me too!:) ) Sometimes no matter what your fear is ( AND I HAVE A LOT - bridges, dealings with issues....... LOL!) U gotta face them and really it isn't that bad, maybe painful, but not that bad....... Does anyone reading my blog know of a great verse on this - maybe about fear, heartache, pain?? Would be great to have a verse for the next time it comes my way! :) Thanks !