Red Light.Green Light.

Thats how life seems to feel right now- ya know the game red light, green light?! lol

My list of to do is growing l o n g e r by the minute, my brain on go mode but my heart in STOP mode. or maybe its the opposite?? I feel God moving in me, in my family, and I feel the devil allover it trying to destroy what God is building. and to be honest- ITS HARD.

We have a LOT going on- personal, family stuff . Some of the personal stuff is GReat ( have to wait this one out- sorry but super duper excited to go down this road when God opens it for us!!) other "stuff" is well, its deep let me tell ya and while Im not so much a very private person- my hubby is and Im ok with that but just fyi its nothing in our lil fam- well ya know what Im sayin?- just this is rockin us at the core and I am AMAZED and so very proud of the man I married….). With all that going on then add life, getting ready for school, and working on some photog skills that I just cant seem to master ( ummm I may have a lil perfectionism in me ya think??) - not much is left of me. Add it all up and it made me feel selfish, unkind and rotten… then Sunday as I was listening to the sermon it hit me.. DUHHH in the word- YOU need to be in the word! The pastor briefly went through each book in the bible and made it almost come alive- LOVED it! So while I have done much better at my quiet times the past year, I havent really dived into my feelings on whats God has put on my heart- well maybe the good things and the bless me blah blah blah stuff, but then I started to pour my heart out to Him… the ugly truths I felt…..the selfishness towards others…. the true love I feel over my husband ….. just everything I have on my plate~ ALL.OF.IT blechhhhh! ( funny how even I felt bad telling our God all this- yet He already knew it! *wink!) while it didnt make it all suddenly disappear, I have such a HUGE weight lifted off me, such peace I cant describe or touch. It made me realize my gifts I do have and what I need to give away ( that selfish stuff for sure!!) I read over the book of Ruth last night and this verse has stuck with me ( and I was NOT an Awanas cubby growing up nor Im very good at remembering scripture to this day! lol) " Dont ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. "

I dont want to leave my comfort zone- a lot or even at all.ever :) but, God is calling on me to do this. I even told my friend I wanted to write about this but Im no writer and my blog is not really for "this" kinda thing but…... He wants me to have PATIENCE in HIS timing and when Hes ready…...I will follow……. powerful stuff and sorry to bore you with this- but Im kinda excited to let you in on this too- I know its kinda unanswered and not complete but I like it- Lets see how God completes these trials in my life. Just like I said above RED light. GREEN light :D

ok gotta get- think I smell dinner.burning! lol……..

* and to not have a post with out a pic (or pics)…. these were taken at a new spot I found- and getting some practice in!! and I do not have my spell checker here with me ( Kayla come home….QUICK!! lol) so please excuse any weird spellings from urs truly ( lets not tell anyone that I actually TEACH my children spelling k - tho I am terrible at it:(! lol!)